Actress Dianna Agron is doing a little personal research for her upcoming birth scene on the show, “Glee.” She has been getting advice from her mom and friends about what she should do since she has never given birth in real life. What advice would you give Dianna?
Obviously she could go with the classic Hollywood birth scene. You probably know it by heart. Woman is doing something ordinary and abruptly either 1) howls in pain over her first contraction or 2) displays a look of horror on her face because her water has broken at a completely inopportune moment. Woman then exclaims, “I’m in labor!” Woman rushes to the hospital. Hours of labor are skipped. Woman is suddenly in the pushing stage of labor. She is screaming. She is sweaty. She yells at the man for impregnating her. Suddenly, a plump six-week-old baby emerges with a full head of hair and not a trace of blood. The Hollywood birth scene is dramatic and it skips everything that might be deemed “gross.”
I would like to see Dianna go with a more realistic approach. For one, she should have at least one false alarm. First time moms always think they are in labor before they are in labor. That’s because they have no idea how much real contractions hurt. (If you even have to ask, you’re not.) She should master her pushing face, because if you look pretty, you’re not doing it right. Millions of women would feel much better about themselves if she pooped on the delivery table. (Most women do, so don’t be embarrassed!) Once the baby comes out, she should start crying and whatever she says should be completely unintelligible.
Okay, I’m kidding around, but seriously, what would you have her do in the birth scene? Should she scream or stay focused? Cry or laugh afterward? What are your ideas? What was your experience like?