I just lived through an experience I have never had to live through before, and hope to never have to live through again. I worked for a small company (there were only six of us in the office, including the two part timers) with big drama. In case you were wondering, unlike Broadway, big drama is not such a great thing in an office. Everything was intrigue: “I’m going to tell you something, but you can’t tell anyone else.” “I shouldn’t tell you this, but I am going to anyway.” “The boss said this about you today while you were gone to lunch.” Etc ad nauseum.
You begin to feel like you’re in the middle of a Mission Impossible movie. Trust no one. Be careful what you say to whom. You must watch your back, because at any moment, a knife could be plunging into it. As cute as Tom Cruise is, I don’t want to live his life (mostly because he’s crazy, but that’s besides the point.)
So here is my top 10 list of ideas of how to stay out of office politics:
1. Don’t buy into it. When someone tries to play you against someone else, simply say neutral like, “Really? I’ve never had a problem with so-and-so. Well, I better get back to work,” and walk back to your desk. No fun, I know, and you also run the risk of being gossiped about yourself, but it’s better to be the subject of gossip rather than the one spreading the gossip–your conscience will like you much better.
2. When you screw up, fess up. People won’t have much to gossip about if all of your mess-ups are already known–what’s the fun in telling people something they already know? When you try to cover your rear by making up lies, then things get very yucky very quickly.
3. Don’t say anything to anyone unless you’re willing to tell everyone. When you start subscribing to the “Secret” club, that’s when it starts to all go downhill. If you are saying something (not so flattering) about your boss, stop and ask yourself: “Would I say this if s/he were standing right here?” If not, don’t say it. Chances are, it will get back to your boss anyway.
4. Don’t blindside your coworkers. Sometimes people, in an effort to please their boss, will tell their boss the inside gossip or the inside scoop, hoping that making another coworker look bad will make them look better. This rarely, if ever, works. Most likely, you will just end up with an angry coworker and a boss who decides that if you know so much, you can do the coworker’s work on top of yours, thus doubling your workload in the blink of an eye.
5. Keep away from the water cooler. The boss is unlikely to be impressed with your water-drinking ability anyway, so if you stay out of the gossip circle, you’re less likely to be burned by it.
6. Evaluate whether the job is worth it or not. In my case, the owner of the company was one of the worst I have ever met in terms of office politics, and would rarely talk to the person she had a problem with, but would instead tell everyone else but that person. I decided that there wasn’t any chance of it getting better, and so I bowed out by giving my two week’s notice. Drastic, but I really had no choice.
7. If it isn’t your secret, you can’t tell it. If someone tells you something in confidence, you need to honor that confidence, unless it is something immoral or illegal that you were asked not to say anything about. Encourage the person to do the right thing, but in the end, you’ve got to realize that it is this person’s choice of what they are going to say, not yours. You cannot make them do what they are supposed to.
Well, I said this was a top ten list, but I think my list is fully fleshed out, so I guess it should have been the top seven list.
Just don’t tell my boss I screwed up.