Most of us like to spend time with our spouses, but what happens when that time is robbed by others? Sometimes a spouse’s friends can enter the picture and cause major turmoil in the marriage. This is a common problem that can be rectified with open communication.
First of all, assuming you’re not being unrealistic, and asking your spouse to spend time only with you, you should be able to talk openly to your spouse about his or her friends and get a receptive response.
There are destructive people who sometimes latch on to those we love. These types of people can influence others to participate in activities which would not only harm the marriage, but also put the individual in harm’s way. Such activities can include drinking binges, bar hopping, going to strip joints, spending more time than is normal playing or watching sports, going shopping until all hours of the day and night, gambling, spending money unreasonably and etc.
Other problems that can occur with friends of your spouse are that they may call or drop by whenever they please, interrupting your normal family life and zapping you of your time and energy. Most people hopefully have a life of their own and won’t do this, but if that’s not the case with your spouse’s friends, he or she must be confronted.
Who should do the confrontation? After you’ve kindly approached your husband or wife about the situation, and they fully agree with the problem, work out a plan of action that should be implemented. It may be impossible not to avoid hurting your spouse’s friend or friends, but let your spouse do the confronting. After all, your spouse has known his or her friends longer than you have.
Most conflict resolution concerning these situations is easily resolved, but if you run into difficulty after confrontation, it might be time for stronger measures. Most people are reasonable and will understand. Hopefully, that will be the case in your situation.