I really believe that the best way to engage your teen is to be able to enter their world. It can be a fine line, however, between involvement and intrusion. If you venture too close to the side of intrusion, you can push your teen away.
Navigating their world can also be scary. When you begin to uncover all of the trends, fads and pressures that teens deal with it may seem frightening.
You may take extreme measures and in an effort to protect your teen, prevent them from navigating through the difficult waters of life. There are some things they just have to learn on their own. The tricky part is figuring out when to step in and when to step back.
Some parents go the opposite way however, and let their teens loose. They are left to figure everything out on their own with no direction or help. It really is a fine line to walk when you are the parent of a teen.
Knowing how to enter your teen’s world is challenging. It is not only based upon the stage of life they are in but their personality. When you make efforts to enter their world, you have to take this into consideration. You should also learn what your teen’s love language is so that you can speak it into their lives.
If you want to enter your teen’s world you have to know when they are ready to talk. Know you’re teen enough to recognize and respect when they are ready to talk. If your teen comes home upset and you know that they need time to be alone, don’t insist they tell you what is wrong. Give them their space. They will be more likely to share what is going on with you if they don’t feel pressured to do so.
Other teens may be ready to immediately pour it all out. The worse thing you could do is respond that you are too busy right now to talk. Since these shared moments of communication can sometimes be few and far between, you should take advantage of any available ones.
Another way to enter your teen’s world is to express interest in their interests. There are times when I am flipping through the radio stations and a song comes on that I know my 16-year-old likes. I may not be a fan of it but I will keep it on for him. I will also watch war movies with him because it’s an interest he has.
Believe it or not, despite being a female my least favorite thing to do is shopping. I don’t like going from store to store. In fact virtually all of the Christmas shopping for my children is done online. Yet I will go to the mall just to participate in an activity that my 13-year-old daughter enjoys.
I have also been known to play Rock Band, making an attempt to sing with my 11-year-old. And of course, there is the whole interest he has in football, something I do happen to like anyway.
My point is that I express interest in their interests and that allows me to enter their world. How do you enter your teen’s world?
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