Another issue that a parent who adopts a child has is if they start with a new doctor. Today we took Steve to the orthodontist and one of the questions was about mouth injuries. It is very hard to have a conversation telling a doctor about any injuries or history that may be relevant when there are children present.
When Steve was younger he did sustain a facial injury when his biological mother’s boyfriend punched him in the face. His adult teeth actually got damaged during that time even though he was only 2 when it happened it permanently damaged his lower teeth.
We have come across this this situation before when we went to the pediatrician. For those appointments I wrote a note and faxed it to the office before the appointment so that they knew ahead of the time what the kids’ history was. It is always hard to talk about it with 3 kids with big ears listening in. I did not really think about it when I went to the orthodontist I was not prepared for those questions this time. I wrote a note on the history form saying if he has questions about the injury to pull me aside and talk to me about it.
We have not told our kids about any of the negative things that happened to them before they came to us and honestly I am dreading the day that we have to tell them. How do you tell a kid his mom left him under a car when he was 2 months old? I am not looking forward to it. How do you explain to a kid that his biological mother let her boyfriend break his nose and then go to the police department to bail him out instead of going to the hospital with her son? All we have ever told the kids is that their tummy mommy just could not take care of them.