You often hear people comment, “If I knew then, what I know now, I’d never have ….” I have had great reason to consider these words over the years and occasionally I think about the idea that I might have done something differently, yet the truth is – knowing what I know now? I wouldn’t change a thing. Because all the decisions I made in the past – the good ones and the bad ones – led me to right where I am.
Sure, if you look back to how you may have handled your first disagreement, it would be fun to change that. If for no other reason than after 11 years together and 8 years of marriage, I know a little bit more about handling and resolving relationship conflict than I did those first years. I know more about trying to be reasonable rather than trying to win the fight.
Yet, ultimately, each and every decision brought me to the place I am now, with the daughter I have now. I could have enlisted in the army at 23, I didn’t. Instead I ended up in Virginia where I met my husband and the father of my child. I could have gone to the Air Force Academy, but I ultimately elected against it – apparently at about the same time as my future husband did. (Coincidence?)
I could have avoided leaping before I looked when I was 22 and moving on the spur of the moment to California, but without that leaping and charge ahead, I would never have taken that opportunity to move to Virginia.
Sure in a weak moment or a moment of frustration, considering the things I could have done differently does occur to me, but then I hear my daughter laugh or my husband walks into the room and I know – I wouldn’t change a thing for fear that it would change what I have now.