Little kids love attention and sometimes they don’t care if the attention is negative or positive. The experts tell us to ignore bad behaviors and in doing so the child will eventually stop doing it. I try but I have to admit there are times when some of Tyler’s silly attention-seeking tricks work my last nerve, as they say.
Take this morning for instance. He was fooling around when he should have been getting ready for school. I decided to ignore what he was doing so he decided to step up his game. He came to me and said he was having trouble getting his pants buttoned (technically it was a snap). Well, when I looked, he had his pajama bottoms on under his school uniform pants. Now I know he was aware of this and I guess I should have let him go to school like that but instead I gave him a stern reprimand.
Then there was the issue of the socks. He removed the socks he had slept in and announced that he was “confused” about which socks he was supposed to put on. Now mind you, he slept in white socks with black reinforced bottoms and his school socks are khaki dress socks. So exactly what was he confused about? So I reprimanded him again. I guess I should not have played his little game and told him to wear whatever ones he wanted to. He knows the consequences of not being in uniform and if he wants to play games then he should be ready to suffer the consequences— a trip to the principal’s office.
According to an article in a newsletter I receive , Focus on The Child, when you ignore bad behavior three things happen:
1. The behavior will worsen but don’t worry because this is normal.
2. The behavior will become unbearable. When your child realizes that they are no longer receiving negative attention for their negative behavior they will “up the ante.” But you cannot give up at this point or the behaviors will increase.
3. Finally, the negative behavior will decrease.
Ignoring bad behavior can be tiresome but the outcome will be a decrease in the behavior. The trick is to stay with it until the end. I admit I am having trouble taking my own advice, especially when Tyler seeks attention when time is of the essence. So tomorrow morning, no matter what, if he attempts to get my attention by acting out like he did this morning—- I will ignore him. And if he goes to school with his pajamas on then so be it.
See also:
How To Handle A Child Who Loves Attention