Imaginary Birthmother’s Letter, Part Five

This is the continuation of a letter I imagined a birthmother might write. The last four blogs contain the first four parts. Again, this is my imagination and is not based on any birthmother that I know.

The letter continues:

The moon was full that night too. Even though it wasn’t the first full moon of the New Year, I went and looked at it anyway. I thought about what I wanted for you. I want you to have a mother and a father, brother and sister, grandmother and grandfather, aunts and uncles and cousins. I want you to have a nice house to live in, the best doctors if you get sick, and good schools that will help you discover how smart you are. I wish that you will know that I love you.

Mothers have to do what they think is best for their children. I can make wishes for you, but I also have to try to make them come true. Even if it hurts my heart and I am sad missing you, I think this is best for you.

The next day I met Mrs. Park at ten o’clock. There I signed the papers saying that I would give up my right to be your parent and let another mother and father parent you.

That was two months ago. Tomorrow is the first full moon of the New Year, and like I said, it will be a festival day. Families will go outside together, maybe to a nearby hill, to get a good view of the full moon. Then they all make wishes saying what they want for their family and the people they love in the coming year.

I don’t have anyone to go with me, so I haven’t gone since I was a small child. But this year, I will go.

Then I will climb the hill alone in the shadow of the moon. I will look at the full moon and make my wishes for you again. You come from shadow, but I wish you only light.

I wish for you a wonderful life.


Your First Mother

This entry was posted in About Adoption by Pam Connell. Bookmark the permalink.

About Pam Connell

Pam Connell is a mother of three by both birth and adoption. She has worked in education, child care, social services, ministry and journalism. She resides near Seattle with her husband Charles and their three children. Pam is currently primarily a Stay-at-Home-Mom to Patrick, age 8, who was born to her; Meg, age 6, and Regina, age 3, who are biological half-sisters adopted from Korea. She also teaches preschoolers twice a week and does some writing. Her activities include volunteer work at school, church, Cub Scouts and a local Birth to Three Early Intervention Program. Her hobbies include reading, writing, travel, camping, walking in the woods, swimming and scrapbooking. Pam is a graduate of Seattle University and Gonzaga University. Her fields of study included journalism, religious education/pastoral ministry, political science and management. She served as a writer and editor of the college weekly newspaper and has been Program Coordinator of a Family Resource Center and Family Literacy Program, Volunteer Coordinator at a church, Religion Teacher, Preschool Teacher, Youth Ministry Coordinator, Camp Counselor and Nanny. Pam is an avid reader and continuing student in the areas of education, child development, adoption and public policy. She is eager to share her experiences as a mother by birth and by international adoption, as a mother of three kids of different learning styles and personalities, as a mother of kids of different races, and most of all as a mom of three wonderful kids!