I’m a big fan of the TV show Criminal Minds.
This show, in case you have never seen it, follows the Behavioral Analysis Unit of the FBI. They profile criminals, determine the type of person they must be looking for, the personality of the criminal and the most likely progression of their crimes, all based on the actions of the criminal and the clues left behind.
Tom and I were watching Criminal Minds last night, and it was an episode about a young couple who go on a killing rampage. Not a surprising story line for a show like that, but what struck me, what has struck me about a number of the episodes lately, was the part where they discover who the killers are and they point out that they were both abused as children and in and out of foster care. Maybe it is only because we are in the process of adopting ourselves that I notice this more and more… but statements regarding criminals who have been “in and out of foster homes” hit me like a ton of bricks now.
I’ve always been fascinated by people. How people think, why they do the things they do, why they believe the things they believe. This has led me to what I would almost call an obsession with issues involving sociology, psychology, and religion. It has also led me to be more open minded and accepting of people’s differences than I believe most people are, and my almost constant immersion in such areas of study has given me the ability to understand things from many different perspectives, rather than just my own. These are aspects of my own personality that I hope will actually be helpful in this journey we are on.
And, as I’m sure you can imagine, with an interest in topics such as these I learned a long time ago that you absolutely cannot look to television for an accurate portrayal of anything, be it a general personality type, a religion, or a foster child.
However, I have little to no positive stories about adoption, about foster care, or about children who have grown up in these situations, to offset the bad that I am getting from my TV. Maybe I should just stop watching shows like this for the time being, and I should focus on seeking out positive stories. I need to hear stories of children who had a rough start in life but were able to overcome the odds and be successful adults. I need stories of children who were adopted as teenagers, or as pre-teens, and grew to at least appreciate, if not love, their adoptive families and grew up happy and at least reasonably normal.
I’m not about to stop the process, my heart is still fully in this, but there are times I wonder what exactly we are getting ourselves into. I wonder if the *success stories* really exist. I hear about what an adopted teenager needs, I hear about what they have been through, I hear about what not to do and how not to act around them, but I don’t hear about cases where all this knowledge actually makes a difference.
Where are the success stories??
Anybody?