Interracial marriage has come a long way, used to be an interracial couple walking down the street was unheard of. In some areas this is still true, but not nearly as bad as it used to be.
The problems that interracial couples deal with seem to be more along the lines of family members than it does the public in general. So how does an interracial couple work with the family to keep the peace?
The answer can be difficult, and you may have to make some hard choices. An intolerant family member can make life very difficult. In-laws can be trying anyway, and the prospect of holidays together can be overwhelming.
The bottom line is that we love who we love and we marry, regardless of skin color. If a family member can’t accept that, it is their problem, not yours. It would be very sad to cancel your plans because of someone’s opinion and ignorance.
Interracial marriages that take place when one or both parties have children from previous marriages can be hard on the kids. This is no reflection on the way you’ve raised your kids, this has to do with peer influence. Teenagers especially can be cruel, and both parents have to take an active role in helping the children deal with anything that might come up at school, and having planned to deal with this should be discussed before getting married.
Thankfully today, as has been said before, interracial marriage is much more socially acceptable than it was in the past. A lot of kids have interracial parents, whether they themselves are the children of the marriage or not, chances are that in today’s society your kids won’t have much of a problem.
Now onto the fun part of the wedding ceremony, it might be fun to incorporate each of your marriage traditions from both races. Be sure to include this and any special considerations (attire, etc.) in your wedding announcements. To celebrate both races with an incorporated ceremony gives the guests a chance to learn about both cultures, and can be an enriching experience for everyone involved. If there is a problem with an intolerant relative, don’t invite them. It’s just that simple. Your wedding day is a celebration of your commitment to each other, and is for the two of you, no one else. If you foresee a problem with Uncle Al, don’t even send the invitation. You deserve to have a happy and stress free day (as much as any wedding is stress free!)
When it comes to traditional holidays where the entire family gets together, the same rule applies. Your marriage and life together is no one’s business if they’re not going to enrich it by their presence, so relax and don’t worry about it.
One last thought. A defensive reaction to someone’s intolerance won’t help matters. Keep your dignity and don’t make the situation worse by reacting. You owe no one any explanations and do not need to justify the fact that you’ve fallen in love.