Is Having Children Narcissistic?

For me, I always knew that I would one day have a family. I have been extremely blessed to be the mother to two, almost three children. I sometimes look at them and marvel at the fact that I am the mother of these little beings that walk and talk, and have very different personalities.

As a psychology major, I often think about family dynamics. I think about my own family and how I was raised, and I also think about my children and how they are being raised. I am also fascinated by birth order, and how that affects your personality and who you become. So, when I was watching the Today show this morning, I heard that they were going to talk about whether or not parents have a favorite child in an upcoming segment. My ears perked up, and I thought, I’ve got to see this! The segment was interesting, but there was one thing the author of the Time article said that bugged me. He said, “Having children is an act of genetic narcissism to begin with. We are hardwired to do it.” Basically, we want to have kids so that we can create mini versions of ourselves that will carry on for generations. Go here to read the transcript from the segment.

Well, I have to disagree. In fact, sometimes I cringe at the things my children do that are just like me. Maybe it is subconscious, but on a conscious level, I did not have children for this reason. My purpose for having kids is simple. I believe that it is part of God’s plan for us on this earth. I believe that it is the only way we can overcome our selves, and try to become more like our Heavenly Father. Why did I have more than one? Well, because being a parent is one of the most joyous things I’ve experienced in my life so far. I can’t imagine not having these precious little people to share my life with. They have taught me more about myself than I ever learned in the 29 years before I started having kids, and I’m sure that they will continue to teach me throughout my entire life.

While, one may argue that his point is that we are supposed to want to have kids because it is an innate desire within all of us, I do agree that most of us have a natural desire to have children. Although, we know that not all people do. But, I’m grateful that my knowledge and understanding of the Gospel helps me know that while it is a natural desire that God has given us, there is a purpose behind it as well that is more than creating little miniature versions of ourselves. The desire has eternal purposes, and will have eternal impacts. It is part of the plan of salvation, and it is part of a higher purpose. It is for us to love, grow, learn, and most of all, find joy in this life.

Related Articles:

Never Complain

Daughters in my Kingdom

Family is What You Make It

This entry was posted in LDS Focused Reviews by Meredith. Bookmark the permalink.

About Meredith

Meredith is a native Texan who is currently living in Salt Lake City, UT. She graduated from the University of Utah in 2002 with a B.A. degree in Psychology and a minor in Human Development and Family Studies. She has been married for almost 10 years and has three beautiful children who consume most of her time. However, she started blogging in 2007 and has fallen in love with the idea of becoming a writer. She started scrapbooking over 10 years ago, and has become obsessed with that as well. She also dreams of the day when someone will pay her to scrapbook for them! When she is not scrapbooking, or blogging, she loves to people watch, and analyze what makes people tick. Meredith is proud to be a Mormon, and even served a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints where she fell in love with the Latin culture and learned to speak Spanish. Visit Meredith on her personal blog at