In my last article I left off with a discussion about how some long term married couples decide to get a divorce. I discussed with you some of the questions that I had about what had happened in the marriage to cause the end to come after so many years. I also added in some of Heather’s ideas of outgrowing your spouse.
As you recall from that article, I mentioned how it seemed that in many cases nothing significant had changed in the marriage from the previous years.
It is my theory that this lack of change is what brought on a need for change. I was once talking with a lady who left her husband of over twenty years. She stated how the divorce lawyer questioned her on whether or not she was certain about her decision. Her answer to him was simple. She said that she had lived in the same situation for the past twenty years and had served her time. She was ready to get out.
This I call marriage burn-out. Can some get burnt-out on their marriage? Yes, I think that they can. Burnt-out occurs more frequently when one partner puts more into the marriage than the other. Only one person can work hard at something by him or herself for so long until the burn-out comes.
I think that many women continue to give more in their marriage than the men do to keep the family together for the children. They put their own needs aside. When the children are grown, the woman begins looking out for herself and all of the work that she puts into her marriage may not seem to be worth it as it was before.
In return she needs a change and needs out and a divorce comes after all of those years of marriage.