‘It’s just not the same any more.’ These words were spoken by a woman as her reason for leaving her husband and ending their ten year old marriage.
Admittedly this came from a novel I’m reading at the moment. But I suspect it’s based on reality, since fiction reflects society back to us.
Of course it’s not the same, you silly woman, I felt like yelling at this character. Marriages are not static. All marriages change over time, especially after a few years as Mary Ann pointed out. Once children arrive on the scene, they bring more demands on time. Men at this time can sometimes feel pushed to the sidelines simply because the wife is too busy meeting the demands of babies and children. It becomes easy for the woman to not feel like making an effort in the bedroom or other places, because she’s tired. If the pressure of work is added into the situation it complicates matters further.
At times like these you might need to make some compromises. Being aware of the problem is the first step and then seeing what can be done ot rectify matters. The wife may need to put aside her needs for a bit an consider her husband, how to make him feel loved and special. The husband in turn, might need to take up some extra jobs and help out more around the house to give his wife a break or an evening out with friends.
Do I believe you can keep the happily ever after in a marriage in spite of the changes. Yes, I do. I know it’s possible. It’s dependant on choices. It’s not just going to happen. It’s not going to happen unless people are committed to their marriage and to each other. It’s not going to happen without time and work invested in the marriage. It all depends on how committed each one is to the marriage.
No, it’s not going to always be the same but you may end up with something better and a stronger marriage.
Related blogs
Changing Patterns In Marriage- Part 2
Keeping the Happily Ever After