We all know those who are painfully shy and blush at the slightest compliment. This trait can be rather charming, especially in children, but it is not really what is meant by humility. A truly humble person can hold his or her head high and still have an open ear and heart for the concerns of others.
A woman once went to a psychologist and said, “I have a low self-esteem. I am a terrible mother. I am often cross and in a bad mood. I don’t have any talent and I got fired from my job. I’m hopeless.”
The phsychologist answered. “Perhaps you have an overly inflated self-esteem. You seem to expect so much of yourself. How did you deserve such high expectations? Lower your standards a bit and see what happens to your confidence.”
Our sages tell us that Moses was the most humble man alive. How could a man who spoke to Hashem directly be so humble? He believed that every one of his followers, if given the same opportunities, would have accomplished more than he did.
The quality of humility is a gift of true confidence, because it allows us to see ourselves as we are and not how we wish we were. So often, people get so obsessed with their goals that they feel threatened when faced with their current situations. They may feel tempted to inflate their accomplishments and abilities. But a person can truly achieve great things if he or she takes one step at a time, and is realistic about every step.
Humility is a great quality itself and yet, it needs to be harmonized with the other traits discussed in Kabbala.
Humility and Kindness: How can I use humility to give to others or to make them feel better?
Humility and gevurah: Is my humility balanced. Am I seeing myself as I really am, or am I indulging in “false humility”?
Humility and Balance: Is my humility realistic? Do I let people walk all over me one minute and feel overcome with anger the next?
Humility and Endurance: How can humility help me deal with situations? How will I be able to succeed with more humility?
Humility and Yesod: How can humility be used to develop other traits? What is the basis for my humility?
Humility and Dignity: How can humility actually increase my feelings of self-worth? If I lower my expectations, will I feel more confident?