My last two blogs defined kinship adoption and discussed its advantages and disadvantages. This blog is about the related topic of kinship foster care. Some estimates say that nearly half of the children in foster care are living with relatives. This is very hard to measure, as many families may be taking care of grandchildren, nieces or nephews informally.
As with kinship adoption, the major advantage of kinship foster care is that the children are with someone familiar instead of being further traumatized or frightened by being placed with strangers. Many children also find living with relatives to be less stigmatizing among their peers than to be known as a foster child living with non-relatives.
Kinship foster parents, however, are more likely to be in poor health, less educated, and in financial difficulty than nonrelative foster parents. Sometimes the birthparents’ families have the same problems as the birthparents, or the children may be exposed to an abusive or neglectful birthparent more frequently if they are living with a birthparent’s family member. Some adoption experts believe that kinship caregivers are not as thoroughly screened and trained as other foster parents. They also believe that overworked social workers give less attention and oversight to children living with relatives.
Children may also remain in legal limbo longer, as kinship caregivers may be reluctant to press for a legal adoption because it means asking a court to terminate the rights of their adult family member. Since in some states kinship caregivers receive a foster care stipend, caregivers may refrain from adopting because they depend on that stipend. (Some adoption subsidies may be available to help with an adopted child’s health and mental health expenses, but these adoption subsidies are often less than the monthly foster care payments.} One 1998 article in Pediatric Nursing stated that “there are greater numbers of developmental and mental health problems in children in kinship care than in children in foster care”.
Obviously, most of these objections are based on speculation about what “many” kinship caregivers may do. I do believe kinship caregivers need to be screened just as thoroughly as other foster parents (although I would advocate that this can be done soon after the placement, to avoid having a child who has to be taken from his birthparent go to strangers while his relatives complete the screening and training. Many birthparents who cannot parent because of instability, drug use, mental illness, etc. have family members which are perfectly capable of good parenting. It seems to me that avoiding trauma to the child and to loving grandparents and family members make this option one that should be aggressively pursued, with financial assistance provided if necessary.
If you are considering taking in a relative’s children, the National Adoption Information Clearinghouse has a factsheet available for new kinship caregivers. Among other things, this brochure recommends that new caregivers seek confirmation of the following questions with their social worker: who has legal custody? What rights and responsibilities does physical custody confer in this state? How does this differ from legal custody? Who is responsible for seeking and authorizing medical care for the children? Who is responsible for school enrollment and signing permission forms? What requirements must I meet, and what safety, size or structural requirements must my home meet, to have the children stay with me? Are these requirements different if the children will be with me, say, more than 30 days, more than 6 months, indefinitely, or permanently? How often should I expect visits and phone calls from the caseworker? What services and/or financial assistance is available and how should I apply? Should I become a licensed foster parent? Are there restrictions on the discipline I can use with the children (for example, foster parents may not be permitted to spank children or to have a child sleep in their bed, even if the child has been used to snuggling in Grandma’s bed previously).
Kinship caregivers may also find themselves divided from their spouse. They may differ on whether they should pursue the stability and certainty of adoption or hope that their adult daughter or son will be able to resume raising the children. Perhaps these are children and grandchildren from a prior marriage and one spouse feels less connected to them than the other. Perhaps one spouse was especially looking forward to retirement plans which did not include raising children. As with adoption, spouses must seek agreement on these issues. Counseling can often help spouses identify where their feelings are coming from and help to objectively work out plans for disciplining the children, dealing with birthparents, etc.
Please see this related blog:
Foster Parents Have a Lot of Worries