We’ve talked about the benefits of being married. But did you know there is a toll on you when your relationship isn’t healthy and your marriage is bad? You are probably thinking that divorce is a pretty high cost. Yet there is a study that was done at the Ohio State University’s Institute for Behavioral Medicine Research that indicates that for women – a bad relationship can cost them in a variety of ways and can be extremely detrimental to their health.
This Isn’t About Abuse
Yes, we know that abusive relationships have very negative effects on your health. But it’s not just the abusive relationships that this study is discussing. This study discovered that couples who don’t handle their disagreements in a positive manner. Couples who bash at each other or use putdowns and nasty sarcasm to get their points across can be damaging their physical health. The study involved several couples that allowed small cuts to be made on their hands.
The couples then sat down to discuss troubling issues in their marriage. The couples that were positive in their conflict resolution healed quickly. The couples that used sarcasm and other negative interactions – did not. Still – this study is very interesting.
The researchers have indicated they believe this effect is more pronounced in women because women will evaluate the negativity in their own relationships accurately while men tend to remain somewhat oblivious. Women will also relive the negativity over and over – examining every nuance while men do try to put it out of their own minds.
Bad Relationships Aren’t Good for Your Health
Not handling your disagreements in a healthy manner or engaging in positive conflict resolution can leave you damaged physically. It can increase the stress hormones in your body that can lead to weight gain that is difficult to use, suppressing the immune system that can make you sicken easier and can leave you exhausted on a regular basis.
It would be great for wives and girlfriends everywhere if they were able to let some of the barbs and negative feelings bounce off. If they could avoid dwelling on the disagreements, but that is not always possible and sometimes we don’t seem as biologically equipped for it as we need to be. So it’s important to recognize that you need to filter those feelings, find a release for them whether it’s through exercise, confidences in close friends or relatives or even journaling – protect your health from a bad relationship and protect your relationship from the stress of a bad relationship.
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How do you cope with the negative feelings in your relationship?