We all make mistakes. Some of us make a lot more than others. But this is okay, because we learn from them … or at least, we try to learn from them, right? I know I tend to run into the same brick wall a few times before I really “get it,” but then I shake it off, make a mental note, and try to do better next time. That’s what life is about—having experiences, becoming stronger because of them, and moving on.
But we don’t really need to make every mistake in the book in order to learn, do we?
What is our natural tendency when we see someone else make a mistake? We leap in and come up with fifty different ways they could have done it better. It’s human nature. We can solve others’ problems, even when we can’t seem to fix our own. But we shouldn’t just be solving their problems for them—we should be learning from their mistakes.
This is especially true when it comes to marriage.
Now, obviously, we’re all unique individuals and we can’t copycat each other and get the same results. But I can certainly look at the positive examples of those around me and see how this woman speaks kindly to her husband when he’s had a bad day at work, or how that wife tries to come up with a nice way to celebrate her husband’s birthday, and I can utilize those ideas in my own marriage. I can also see how someone else yelled at her husband on the front porch, in front of all the neighbors, and realize that might not be such a great idea. Others’ lives aren’t a blueprint to us—we need to create our own—but we can take examples, both good and bad, from wherever we find them.
I was in a conversation today where a group of friends was getting ready to make a mistake I’d already made. I didn’t hesitate to speak up and say, “You know what, I’ve been there. Please don’t follow me down that path.” We don’t have to experience every hardship life has to offer in order to learn—if we’re willing to be teachable, we can learn a lot from those around us and hopefully navigate a straight course around those whirlpools and sinkholes that otherwise would slow us down and make us miserable.
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