My ex and I were raised in very different families. The value systems are in many cases quite the opposite, so even when we were married it was difficult to agree on the best way to raise our son. Now that we are divorced, the challenges are far greater. Ultimately neither of us can control what the other ones teaches our son or where they take him or who they bring him around. Having that lack of control when it comes to your child is one of the most difficult aspects of divorce. It’s one I often still struggle with, this is when communication becomes vitally important between you and your ex spouse.
You both love your child. You both have your child’s best interests at heart. Keep that in mind as you are talking to your ex about raising your child. You both play an important role in your child’s life, so you need to find a way to come together for them. This may mean learning to compromise.
Talk to your ex about the rules for your child in your home. If possible work together to have a consistent set of rules at each house. The more consistent you are with your child the more stability they will feel as they are travelling between homes. This isn’t always easy, but do your best to come together wherever possible.
Don’t let your child play you against each other. Let your child know that even though you aren’t married anymore, you are still on the same page and will back each other up when it comes to parenting. The more you communicate with your ex about these things the less opportunity your child will have to play you against each other.
Co-parenting isn’t easy, but it is important for your children to know that even though you don’t live together, you are both still their parents and are working together to do what is best for them.