I for one find the pregnant belly a very beautiful thing, and I’m sure that I’m not alone in my sentiments. We’ve all experienced the stranger in the grocery store coming up to us and rubbing our belly affectionately, practically bursting with bubbly joy. Women especially just love to gush about how wonderful it is to be bringing a new baby into the world. It’s as if by touching your belly they feel like they are already touching a soft little baby hand.
Sure, I loved showing off my big belly. And I also loved sharing the news and talking about pregnancy with whomever would lend an ear. But there is an invisible bubble around me when I am pregnant, and if you cross it I just may turn into Mama Bear. For those people that I am close to, like my midwife and family, I could care less to be touched by them. But strangers take on a dangerous feel when they come that close to my personal space, and that there is a defenseless infant inside me when I’m pregnant can make it most unwanted.
If belly-touching happens to you, you can do one of several things.
Ignoring (otherwise known as Grinning and Bearing). Take it like a champ, it probably won’t last long. This can be difficult to do if you have touching issues.
Make an Excuse. For instance, if you’re in the grocery store you can always say “Oh I forgot the milk!” to make a getaway.
Slowly Move Away. Grinning while slowly moving away can convey your message without hurting feelings.
Touch Back. If you’re daring enough, touch the person back in a casual way. This may remind them that touching can make a person uncomfortable.
Tell ‘em How it is. If you’re really daring, say something like “I really don’t like to have my stomach touched, it makes me nervous.” It is part of our societal programming to feel sorry for saying these kinds of things. Don’t apologize; it is totally valid for you to say so.
Most people understand that others have issues with touching, especially from strangers. Somehow, by some phenomenon, this is completely forgotten when it comes to the pregnant belly. I’ve done several things short of sprinting away to convey the hands-off message. What kind of things have you done or said?
Make sure to check out Let’s Talk About Handling Unwanted Belly Comments.