“Can I have a cell phone for my birthday?” “How old do I have to be before I can date?” “Can I hang out at the park with my friend?” “Can I get a Facebook page?” These are all questions that a child of mine has asked in the past week. The scary thing is he will be turning 11 years old this upcoming weekend. He is barely a tween.
I am sure it is hard being the youngest. To have to sit back and watch your older brother and sister get more privileges can’t be easy. I am trying to be understanding and I am trying to be patient with him. But sometimes his questions really grate on me. Actually, it’s not the questions that get to me but his response. He gets very upset at my answers which have been, “No,” “We will have to see when that times comes,” “It’s not safe,” and “You have to be 13 years old.”
I have not been a favorite of his lately. In fact, I was even told that I am the worse mom ever. How do you explain to a child that no, the worse mom ever is the one who lets her child do whatever he wants? You really can’t explain that because they are not ready to receive that.
I have honestly had more resistance and defiance with my youngest son than I have with my 16-year-old and my daughter who turns 13 next month. Somehow I have a feeling that his teenage years are going to be a little different than what I am experiencing so far with my other two.
Children want to grow up so fast. I think that’s a pretty common issue. I really do believe that parents are responsible to make sure it doesn’t happen. So many parents break the rules. For instance, take the Facebook account he asked about. He told me that a bunch of kids in his 5th grade class have a Facebook. Well I explained to him that you are supposed to be 13 years old to sign up for an account. Granted, there may be some children who set their own account up but I also guarantee there are parents who have helped.
At one point during this past week when we were having some heated moments I said, “Why don’t you just slow down and enjoy being 10 while you can?” He wouldn’t hear of it. I do understand and I try to express that to my son, that he probably feels babied. I want him to know that I sympathize and recognize why he might feel the way he does. But at the same time I also try to express that kids should do age appropriate things and that the things he was requesting are not age appropriate.
No, he doesn’t understand right now and I may be the worse mom in his eyes right now but I know that I have the best intentions. I only want what is best for him. I don’t want to see any of my children grow up any faster than they need to.
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