During my last parenting class we learned about three sustaining truths that we should teach our children. These truths are foundational to their growth and it seems to me the sooner they learn the better they will be able to effectively deal with life. Honestly, the categories were not at all what I expected, but seem to make a lot of sense.
One foundational truth is to teach them to suffer well. Life is hard. Life is unjust. People say and do cruel things sometimes without even intending to bring harm. Other times people purposely bring harm. In our microwave society, people want quick fixes to their problems, but many times it is through the problems we experience that we grow the most. Life is messy. Parents get divorced, people die, friends betray, and the flame of love is extinguished. I don’t think we have to point out every problem we have to our children, or force them to watch CNN day in and day out to get an idea of how people suffer. We will do well by our children to let them know that normally it takes more than a half an hour, as seen on their favorite TV show, to fix problems. One example of continued suffering is the Asian Tsunami of late 2004. A report released several months ago stated that nearly half of the people affected by the wave are still homeless. No home for over a year and a half is extremely difficult for me to imagine. The area is recovering, but very slowly. Suffering is a normal part of life, and our children will be better off to have that understanding.
Another foundational truth is to teach children to manage their lives wisely. Teach them to use their time, talent and treasure (money) with thoughtful purpose. Help them to become faithful and honest in all things. Teach them to plan ahead and help them gain good study habits so they can continue successfully with their education beyond High school. One of the easier ways to teach management skills is through the use of money. Money is a tangible item, which makes it easier in most cases to use for teaching purposes. Part of managing one’s life well comes through planning and saving for the future. Children can learn money management skills through a simple method. Take three jars, label one tithe (if you follow this biblical principle), the next savings, and the last one spending. When ever your child receives money through allowances, working, or gifts, take 10% of the money and place it in the tithe jar, 20% into the savings jar and the rest into the spending. So if they have $1-10 cents goes in to the tithe jar, 20 cents into savings, and 70 cents into spending. They can use the money in the spending jar for pretty much whatever they want-within reasonable parameters. If they want to make a large purchase and do not have enough in their spending jar, and want to dip in to their savings, make them wait at least one week to make the purchase to teach them patience and delayed gratification. If you tithe, your child can bring his or hers to church on a weekly or monthly basis.
Next week, after my next class, I will share another truth or two with you.