What do you think of long engagements? Well, actually, what do you consider a long engagement to be? One year, three years? Ten years? I’ve known couples that have all been engaged for those periods of time. And while the standard seems to be a year and a half, it is not unusual for engagements to last longer than this. Are long engagements a good thing?
There are a few reasons that couples decide to have a long engagement. The first, believe it or not, is to give the couple time to be able to plan out their dream wedding. If you want to make sure that everything is perfectly the way you want it, a longer engagement may give you that opportunity. I’m all for focusing on the marriage instead of the ceremony, so I would personally vote “nay” here.
Another reason is so the couple can get to know each other better. A longer engagement allows for the couple to spend additional time together and really make sure that they want to get married. They may also use this time to take advantage of pre-marital counseling. In my opinion, the couple should be really sure that they want to spend the rest of their lives together before they become engaged. If there is any doubt, then a proposal shouldn’t be made or accepted. If a couple wants the acknowledgment that they have reached a new level of seriousness, then they could always consider a pre-engagement, complete with a small ring or other gift. You guessed it, another “nay” from me.
Finally, a couple might consider a long engagement in order to put their finances in order. They may want to save for a home, combine their investments and create a financial plan for how they are going to deal with their money. I think this is a great idea. The pitfall here, of course, is to not have finite goals. Saying that you will save $40,000 for a down payment on a house is preferable to saying you will save for a home. Otherwise you may find that the engagement never ends. So here I give my only “yay.” How do your answers compare?