‘You can give without loving, but you can’t love without giving,’ so says the positive thought in our local newsletter. Think about it. I believe it’s true. We can give and do things out of a sense of duty or because we think we’re supposed to. But it’s not love. But when we love someone we want to show it by giving.
I don’t necessarily mean by giving gifts, though at times that may be appropriate. It might be more a case of giving your time to help your spouse or do something that they want. It might be giving of yourself and talking things through, not keeping things bottled up. It might be giving them some time to themselves where they can relax.
It also means giving of self in the act of love to please your spouse. It might mean giving of your rights and letting your spouse have their way. It might mean giving up your heart’s desire to help them pursue something they’ve always dreamed of doing. It usually means putting their needs above your own.
For example when my husband’s job was transferred to Orange I didn’t want to leave Sydney. I didn’t want to see my family split up by leaving our son behind in Sydney. That was balanced against the fact that Mick had a job he enjoyed doing and whether we liked it or not his job was going to Orange.
For me, it meant giving up the bible study I enjoyed, my three part time jobs as an English tutor, a creative writing tutor and working in an office. It meant leaving close friends and my prayer partner of many years, my bible study group, and most of all it meant leaving our son and I’m not good at being separated from family.
On the other hand, Mick was rather looking forward to the idea of moving and starting again elsewhere. Since he was the one bringing in the majority of our income, he needed to be happy in his work. So we moved. That’s the sort of thing love does. Love is giving.
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