Infertility is devastating to most couples. The diagnosis and treatment process can take a toll on even the strongest marriages. Nothing sucks the romance out of intimacy more than trying to have a baby. Spontaneity goes out the window as intercourse becomes planned and scheduled around the best time of the month for conception.
Couples need to make a real effort to keep the romance alive during the time they are trying to conceive a baby. If you get your baby, but destroy your marriage, you will have many regrets later. Although it can be hard to be spontaneous, it’s important to try. For the first half of your cycle, you are focused on conception. The second half of your cycle is devoted to waiting to see if the attempt was successful.
There are days during your cycle when you can let go of the focus on conception and focus on each other. The time you invest in keeping the romance in your marriage will strengthen your bond. This is not only good for the couple, but for the baby as well. When you finally do conceive, the baby will be born into a strong and stable home.
When you are fertile, don’t forget to include romance. It is very easy to get caught up in the clinical aspect of conception that the intimacy is lost. Make an effort to spice things up and make it romantic. Take a weekend trip to a cozy inn or bed and breakfast. If you can’t get away, light some candles and open a bottle of wine.
Infertility causes high levels of stress. Unfortunately, the spouse can become the target of the anger and stress you are feeling. Spend some time talking about your feelings. If you are having trouble talking to each other or the stress of infertility is taking a toll on the relationship, see a marriage counselor. Therapy is very effective when both partners are committed to the relationship. Ask your infertility specialist for a referral to a counselor that specializes in treating infertile couples.
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