Friends can have an enormous influence in our children’s lives. These friendships can be for the good or have a detrimental effect upon our child. So as parents it is important that we help our children cultivate and maintain good friends. Good friends are invaluable, especially for teenagers. You might wonder how can you help your child choose good friends. Read on for some ideas.
Talk about good friends. Help your child make a list of characteristics that a good friend has. Encourage them to be a good friend as well. This way they are more likely to attract good friends. Encourage them to have friends from different groups. The more people they get to know the better rounded they are as an individual.
Invite your child’s friends to your home. Growing up my dad didn’t really like us having friends over. As a result we always went other places. I want my children to bring their friends home. Although this does mean that our house will be noisy and chaotic at times it also means that I know where my kids are and what they are doing.
Be aware of the friends your child has. Get to know them. It’s a good idea to also get to know their parents. This way you will feel comfortable with your child spending time at their friend’s house.
Let your child know if you are concerned, point out specific things that trouble you. Only bring up issues if it is affecting your child’s behavior or self-esteem. When you do discuss friendships express your concerns then listen carefully to your child. Keep in mind that your child can be a positive influence for another child.
Discuss the values that your family has. Help give your children reasons and ways to say no to peer pressure. Let your children know that you do not want them hanging out with children who use drugs, smoke, drink, or break the law.
The Search Institute reminds parents to keep friendships in perspective. “Children and teenagers will ‘try out’ a wide variety of friends. Some of those short friendships may make you nervous, but they are a normal part of growing up.”
See these related blogs:
Using SODAS To Help Your Children Make Decisions
What if You Don’t Like Your Child’s Friend?