I have a tendency to be a results-oriented parent. I want to solve problems or at least come up with solutions that move us out of challenges and into more functional periods. You would think that after nearly two decades of parenting, I would learn that sometimes you have to go with temporary fixes and make the most of “trial periods” since kids and families always seem to be in a state of change and transition.
Nothing lasts forever–and while I’m all for setting limits and working rules by which a family can exist, sometimes, we need to try something for a period of time to see if it works before setting it down as a rule or a definitive way of doing things. I’ve found that by saying “let’s try this for a while and see how it works” my kids are more willing to try something new that they might otherwise balk at, and it also gives me an “out” if I’m allowing my child to try something. For example, when my eldest daughter got her first job it was under the auspices of a “trial period”–we decided we would see how it affected her school work and other obligations and we set a definite period of time for her to try it out and see how it worked–three months. At the end of the three months, she decided that it was too hard to juggle the increasing demands of the job and all the stuff going on at school and she resigned. Since we had employed the “trial period”–she didn’t have to feel like a quitter and she didn’t have the stress of having to stay with something that she wasn’t ready for.
Trial periods can work well for all sorts of parenting and family issues–a new bed time, a change in homework routine, a curfew, a new activity. By setting a trial window of time where you can revisit and evaluate how something is working before making a final decision, it can keep you from having to go back on your word as a parent and it can give everyone the opportunity to try out something new without feeling trapped.
Also: Expect Complaints About Chores and Rules
Starting Over When Things Don’t Work