Bi-Partisan Committee Announces Disallowing Marriage as a Legal Institution
In an effort to reach an accord with all disparate views the California legislature announced today that they will be introducing a bill that if passed by the legislature and signed by Governor Schwarzenegger will disallow the use of the word ‘marriage’ in any state documents including licenses and more. All couples, both heterosexual and homosexual will be able to apply for Civil Union licenses. Civil unions will be recognized with all the rights usually attributable to ‘married’ couples. When asked about the recommendation of the committee, one member stated under the condition of anonymity that “it boils down to making all our constituent’s happy. Churches, priests, pastors and ministers are better capable of enforcing religious law and can turn down any couples they do not deem as marriageable under Church law.”
So what does this law do to couples already married under previous California law? The same lawmaker stated, “Ideally, all previously issued marriage licenses that have been fulfilled with a marriage ceremony and recognized will be grand fathered in. We don’t want to create an uproar where couples married for fifty years may have to reapply for a civil union license. As it stands now, a couple can be married in a religious ceremony and recognized as married by their religion and themselves. State applications are only to earn state and federal benefits attributed to married couples – the term married will be adjusted to couples who have received a civil union license.”
Previously, couples who received a marriage license were required to have them signed by their minister, pastor, or other legally acknowledged justice of the peace. With the new bill, a couple’s civil union license needs only their signatures and the signature of the legally authorized clerk and two witnesses that allow the couple to declare and make legal their Civil Union contract.
Although not a law yet, the potential of this bill has already created an outcry on both sides of the aisle where this issue is concerned as liberals call it a bait and switch and conservatives argue that it’s an outrage – but as one source puts it – there’s no way to make everyone happy.
Happy April Fools Day.
This is an April Fool’s Day joke and only a joke, any similarity to events real or imagined are purely coincidental.