In Making Marriages Last: What’s It Going to Take? My Interview with Mrs. Hawes I explained about my idea to accentuate the positive by showing examples of long-term committed relationships that are working.
One marriage veteran, as I’m calling people in such relationships, who agreed to answer some questions was Mrs. Hawes, wife of Jason Hawes, one of the founders of The Atlantic Paranormal Society (TAPS) and one of the stars of Ghost Hunters.
Requesting the Interview
Mrs. Hawes is about as modest as they come. When I asked if she’d be game to be interviewed for Families.com’s Marriage Blog, she said, “I love my husband dearly and am proud of our marriage but not sure I would make a very good interview for you. Lol.”
So I wrote back: “Are you kidding? You’d be a GREAT interview candidate. I could work up some sample questions so you could get a feel that I’d keep it light and non-threatening/non-invasive.
“However, if you really aren’t comfortable I completely understand. It was just a thought. Thanks for your time either way!”
Well, she agreed to look at the questions, and then to my surprise she agreed to answer them.
1) How old were you when you and Jay started dating?
2) How long have you and your husband now been together? (Total, including years dated prior to marrying.)
3) Wayne and I met with a lot of resistance in our early years. We met in May and once summer ended and we didn’t split when he went back to college (as everyone assumed we would), our parents especially got worried and encouraged us to break up. Did you and Jay encounter that at all?
4) If you answered yes to the above, how did you overcome and work through it?
5) If you answered no, were there other obstacles you guys encountered in those early years? How did you overcome them?
6) What do you credit the longevity of your relationship to? Is there a single thing, or are there a bunch of things you guys work on to keep the fire alive? (For instance, in my case I believe it’s the fact that Wayne and I have learned to respect each other and be each other’s closest friend. But for some people they base it on their parents or grandparents’ example.)
7) I know Wayne and I have grown into very different people than what we envisioned ourselves becoming back when we were teenagers. (Well, sort of. I always wanted to be a writer, but I never bargained on being a work-at-home/stay-at-home wife. And Wayne was all about becoming wealthy and having the finer things in life, which he’s now decided isn’t worth it and there are more important things he’d rather pursue and cherish.) In your case, your husband is now one of the stars of a hit show. Did you ever envision yourself the wife of a Ghost Hunter?
8) What’s it like being married to a Ghost Hunter anyway?
9) Finally, if you could impart any knowledge or advice to a young couple just starting out (be they high school sweethearts or a bit older), what would it be?
To Be Continued…
I’ll post Mrs. Hawes’s response next. I’ll warn you now to have some hankies ready. When I first read it I was so moved it brought tears to my eyes!