It seems like before the ink is dry on your divorce decree everyone starts asking you if you think you will get married again.
What? I’m not really thinking much beyond what I’m going to fix for dinner and how to get time off work to have the car fixed. Now you want me to think about getting married again?
It’s almost painful to say that, married again. Each of us thought that first time was forever, there wouldn’t be any “again,” yet here we are, wondering what to do next.
We all want to be loved, we need to be loved. From the tiniest baby to the oldest person in the world, we all want to be close to someone else. The only thing is, now the rules and expectations have changed. This is uncharted territory and we are navigating it alone.
It’s lonely being a single mother, not having anyone who’s gone through puberty to talk to, so some of us jump right back into the dating pool.
We are still looking for what we thought we found in our ex husband, only now, we have an entirely different life to juggle.
Remember dating, when the two of you could talk on the phone for hours, stay up late, walking and talking and holding hands. It didn’t matter that you were tired at work the next day, you were in love. Sigh………
Now, fifteen minutes on the phone is a long conversation, especially when someone is tugging on you wanting dinner, a shirt ironed, a ride to a friends house or help with homework. By necessity, conversations are short.
Long talks into the night? I don’t think so, first of all, it might wake up the kids, second, I’m trying to fold laundry and third, I can’t be exhausted tomorrow, single moms rarely get naps.
It feels harder to get to know someone just because of all the juggling. Add that to the fact that now you are not only looking for someone for you, you are looking for someone who will be a positive influence on your children.
The rules have changed, the expectations have changed and your needs have changed. The most important thing is to give yourself time, lots and lots of time.