When my sixteen year old sister-in-law called me last night to ask advice about her first meeting with her new boyfriend’s ‘straightlaced parents’, the first thing I thought to say was, “Don’t ask for a cup of coffee.” Of course, I gave her the old stalwart advice about being honest and being herself, but after she hung up, I thought about a few other tips I could give to any young man or young woman who wanted to make a good impression on their ‘straightlaced friend’s parents’.
1. Don’t ask for a cup of coffee or tea.
2. When asked what you want to do after high school, don’t admit that your plans include taking over the world. You want to be honest, but not that honest. Instead, tell them, “I’m considering a career in politics.”
3. When asked what your favorite scripture is, don’t tell them you don’t know any. Try really hard to come up with one. Try really, really hard not to make it “And my father dwelt in a tent.”
4. If you are called upon to say the prayer, try to avoid saying it in a singsong voice. Remember, you aren’t supposed to say the same prayer over and over again.
5. You don’t need to find an appropriate song for every occasion. For instance, when the subject of a mission comes up, you don’t need to burst into a rousing rendition of “I hope they call me on a mission”, and when you are asked about your family, no need to proclaim “Families can be together forever.” You may wind up annoying everyone at the table.
6. No need to boast that your seminary teacher marvels at your ability to snore and be heard at the back of the church. A simple, “Yes, I’m enjoying seminary,” will be just fine.
7. When asked how you feel about the prophet, an appropriate response is not, “He’s pretty cool, for an old dude.”
Hopefully, these tips will help you or your kids, even if they came too late for my sister-in-law! That’s okay; I’m sure she’ll ask for my advice at least once more. Then again, she didn’t seem overly excited about my coffee advice.
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