In a very recent article Courtney touched on the fact that affairs can have different levels. Some affairs are purely a physical attraction and others have emotional ties to them.
As she stated in her article, it would be harder to accept an emotional affair rather than a physical one. Having feelings about the person brings the affair to a new level.
In this article I too would like to touch on affairs. Hopefully not stepping too much into Courtney’s topic, I would like to discuss mental affairs.
In some cases, mates have affairs in their minds. Of course these would not be held to the same degree as actual affairs. However, they should be dealt with.
When a marriage or a relationship is on the rocks, it may become easy to picture yourself or imagine yourself with another person. You may create a whole series of activities with the person in your mind.
The person may be someone that you work closely with and find attractive.
In some cases, the mental affair can take completely take over your mind and mental well being.
While you are not actually having a physical affair, in a sense you are cheating on your mate. Your fantasies, your thoughts, and your dreams are focused on another person. These are the things that your mate deserves to be focused on him or her.
If you are experiencing more than just the occasional fantasy or day dream or “what if” of another person, you should discuss your thoughts with your mate. It may be a good idea to distance yourself from the fantasized person for a while. Ask yourself what it is about the person that attracts you. Discuss with your mate what the two of you can do to rekindle these thoughts to be more focused on the two of you as a couple rather than outsiders.