Mirror, Mirror on the Wall

When it comes down to opposites attracting, we talked about emphasizing the other’s strengths by letting them take the lead in certain areas. However, there’s more that you can both do. One of the things about my husband I have always admired was his ability to look at the positive side of people. I’m a cynic by nature. It surprises some people when I say that because I am great at offering a positive outlook, however I am not quite so positive internally.

When your partner has strengths that you do not, use them as a mirror not to reflect your weaknesses, but to encourage yourself to grow stronger in those areas. For example, my husband went back to school because my love for education. That’s not the entirety of the reason, but I believe you can do anything you set your mind to and if you don’t know what you ultimately want to do, an education can help you discover new things about yourself.

That’s a pretty strong motivator for him. By the same token, the fact that he always looks on the positive side of people is a strong motivator for me to make more of an effort and be less judgmental. By using your spouse’s strong points as a positive motivator to stimulate growth in yourself.

It’s unfortunate when a couple doesn’t take these opportunities to promote growth in themselves. They can achieve a great deal by using their spouses strengths to encourage them. When you become overly reliant on the other person’s strengths, it can leave you feel inadequate or worse pressured. This is not a positive situation for anything except resentment to grow in.

Now – does that mean I am ever going to be truly mechanically inclined? Unlikely, but I do know how to put a fence board back up and I can certainly put together a computer. I’m nowhere near as fast as he is, but I can do it and that’s something I couldn’t have done before.

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About Heather Long

Heather Long is 35 years old and currently lives in Wylie, Texas. She has been a freelance writer for six years. Her husband and she met while working together at America Online over ten years ago. They have a beautiful daughter who just turned five years old. She is learning to read and preparing for kindergarten in the fall. An author of more than 300 articles and 500+ web copy pieces, Heather has also written three books as a ghostwriter. Empty Canoe Publishing accepted a novel of her own. A former horse breeder, Heather used to get most of her exercise outside. In late 2004, early 2005 Heather started studying fitness full time in order to get herself back into shape. Heather worked with a personal trainer for six months and works out regularly. She enjoys shaking up her routine and checking out new exercises. Her current favorites are the treadmill (she walks up to 90 minutes daily) and doing yoga for stretching. She also performs strength training two to three times a week. Her goals include performing in a marathon such as the Walk for Breast Cancer Awareness or Team in Training for Lymphoma research. She enjoys sharing her knowledge and experience through the fitness and marriage blogs.