I returned from a business trip to Norway to find my eldest daughter waiting up for me and very eager to talk and catch up. As I made piles of dirty laundry and cleaned out my suitcases, finding all the gifts and mementos I’d purchased and tucked away for my kids, she shared what the past week a half have been like for her–just starting her senior year of high school. At one point she said, “I really missed you mom! I really missed knowing there was someone at home worrying about me and caring whether I came home and who I was hanging out with!”
Wow. I guess it took my going away for an older teenager to realize that even if they are pushing toward independence, they still need to know that anchoring parent is worrying after them. I told her to imagine how it was for me worrying about my three teens from halfway around the world! Plus, I had to admit that I missed having someone at home who cared if I came home to fix dinner or ask “How was your day?” Even though our family is morphing and my daughter is perfectly capable of being independent and I can go away on a business trip, it was nice to find out that we all really missed each other.
I think it is a good reminder that even when are kids are being challenging, and when it seems like they don’t need us and would rather be anywhere but in our presence–they really do need us. They need to know that they have been unconditionally claimed and that no matter where they are or what they are up to, there is a parent (or two) who cares and is concerned about their well-being. Rest-assured that they need us to be those solid, supportive, and loving rocks–even if they pretend they hate it.
Also: Despite the Headaches, Travel is a Good Experience for Kids
I’ve Never Been Away From My Kids for Ten Days!