I once heard somebody define being a grown up as coming to the place where you not only take care of yourself, but you take care of others as well. If this is the case, then just about all of my growing up has taken place over the past ten years. When I was single, I could barely take care of myself. I was notorious for missing appointments because I forgot about them. I couldn’t keep my room clean, I was overwhelmed by a week’s worth of laundry and a healthy meal was pizza with green peppers or mushrooms on it.
My, how times have changed! I laugh when single friends complain about how much laundry they have. Now I do laundry for six, I have a whole house to keep clean, a garden to maintain, a full appointment book and healthy, well-rounded meals to fix. A friend once watched me as I set the table and later told me that she was amazed at how many things I could do at once. I had a baby on my hip, I was having a phone conversation, I was intermittently putting plates on the table and stirring the pots on the stove and I was pushing toys to the play area with my feet. I’m kind of proud of my new found productivity.
However, even though doing all these things is important, there are other more important things. We have Strep Throat at my house right now. Last night we had a house full of people when we discovered that one of my sons had a high fever. As I gave him medicine and got him settled he asked, “Mommy, will you please stay with me.” My husband took over all the activity in the house, while my son and I cuddled and watched Veggie Tales. As I sat with my son, I realized that just being still and loving him was what he needed the most from me. Now, three of my four have come down with fevers and there is a lot of sitting, cuddling and story reading going on.
I have a tendency to feel like I have to be moving around and doing things in order to be productive. I don’t think this is necessarily true. I have figured out a few things. The way to my oldest daughter’s heart is to sit and read chapter books with her. The way to my oldest son’s heart is to sit and talk. He likes to have my undivided attention and gets so frustrated when I won’t stop what I am doing to make eye contact with him. If I sit down, my youngest son will run and climb up in my lap. He loves that time! The baby loves when I stop what I am doing and play with her. She claps her hands and squeals with delight. Even my husband is thrilled when I put aside my stuff and come to bed so that we can read together and talk. So, it seems to me that my family enjoys me more when I’m sitting with them, rather than running around doing stuff for them.
I still have to clean and cook and all that. These things obviously bless my family and are very important. But, it seems that the most important things are happening when I’m sitting still.