I’m continuing the lies society has fed us about marriage.
You can always change your spouse after you are married.
If he or she is not exactly what you want before marriage you can always change them afterwards. No you can’t. So choose wisely before you commit. Know what you can cope with and what you can’t. If you set out to change your spouse, all you will end up with is frustration and disappointment. The only person you can change in a marriage relationship is you and even that’s debatable. There are some aspects of our personalities we can’t change no matter how hard we try.
Disagreements and arguments are bad for your marriage.
No they’re not. Quite the opposite can be true. Disagreements at least mean you are getting it out in the open what is wrong. Once it’s out in the open there’s a chance to work on the problem and do something about it. Kept inside and not talked about the problems will fester and ultimately spill over anyway, usually in a major conflict that is not as easily resolved.
My spouse should know how I’m feeling and what I’m thinking without me having to tell him or her.
Why should they? They are not mind readers. That’s what words are for, so you can talk to each there and tell them your needs and listen and respond as they tell your theirs.
Marriage means a happily ever after. It may do but it’s not automatic. It doesn’t necessarily follow, unless you are prepared to nurture and work at your marriage and devote time and effort into building and maintaining your relationship.
Marriage will fulfill all your needs.
Marriage may fulfill some of them and you may end up with lots of happy times. But it won’t be No one person can fulfill all of another person’s needs and it is an unfair and unrealistic expectation if you expect them to. That sort of pressure is not good for any marriage.
Your parents and your background have no effect on your marriage.
It does. We can’t help but be influenced by our upbringing. Sometimes this works in positive ways. We may want to replicate the pattern we saw growing up. Other times we will see the necessity for change because we saw the flaws in the pattern our parents presented. Unfortunately it is not always easy to break away from the patterns modeled for us.
If you have any other lies you were told by family or society about marriage I’d love to hear them.
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Lies Society Has Fed Us about Marriage