Our next asset in this series deals with providing a model for children to be motivated to do well in school and other activities. Family member should model success in their work, and community activities. In addition, contact with other successful adults can go a long way. A person I know once told me that his parents often had friends over to their house for dinner and other activities. This person would listen to the adults talking, and through those conversations became very interested in the business world. He knew that he wanted to be a businessperson. Today he is a very successful business owner.
Acknowledging and celebrating achievement in single parent families is crucial to healthy growth. Helping our children to see good work habits and successful people will help them immensely.
I do believe that often too much emphasis is placed on being number one or making achievement in itself a goal. What I believe this asset calls for is for children to do their best in their day-to-day activities. I have explained to my children that their primary job right now is school. They understand the importance of doing well and learning for the sake of gaining knowledge. My children understand that they are not required to get A’s all the time, but they are required to do their best on each and every assignment. They also understand that how they approach their schoolwork can have long-term effects as far as what type of college they may get into or vocation they may be qualified for in the future. This does not put undue pressure on them, but helps them to understand that their actions now can have an impact on their future.
This asset is best learned through internal motivation factors. Children should have the desire to do the best they can. Payment for good grades is an external reward and is not as effective as being able to feel pleasure for a job well done. At the end of the school week it is ok to give a reward such as an ice cream sundae or a rented video for their hard work throughout the week.
Learning together is an important aspect of this asset. Read a book to your child. My children have been able to read by themselves for years, but still enjoy when I read them a story. Go to a museum or science center with your children. There are many mom and toddler classes through community centers and libraries.
Teach children to persevere no matter how difficult their schoolwork or circumstances become.