As I have mentioned in a earlier post the reason many couples adopt is because after many years of trying to conceive a child a couple finds that they are unable to have children. Many couples choose to try fertility treatments only to find that they were unsuccessful as well. Then the couple turns to adoption as a way to build a family.
I have found through completing Home Studies and talking to other couples who have adopted that the length of time and the number of treatments that a couple tries does vary. However, for the most part many couples do exhaust all possibilities of fertility treatments before moving to adoption. I’m still sometimes surprised how many years some couples try to have a baby through fertility treatments. I can only imagine what an emotionally trying time it can be. As I also mentioned previously my husband and I did not opt to try fertility treatments since our insurance did not cover it. I also was ready to become a parent and build a family. I was thirty three years old and did not want to waste any more years on fertility treatments that may not work. I was ready to build my family, become a parent, and adoption was right for us from the start.
But moving from infertility to adoption for others is much more difficult. Many couples hold onto the hope that they will be able to have a biological child for a number of reasons. Many women want to go through the experience of pregnancy. Morning sickness, stretch marks, and all. I had another women tell me that she wanted to have a child who looked like her husband. I was very touched by that statement. Other people are nervous about the risks that come along with adopting a baby or child.
Whatever the reason is, a couple must be ready to build a family through adoption before starting the process. They must have accepted and grieved the loss of not being able to have children biologically. If a couple has not grieved or accepted this loss then they will not be able to embrace the journey of adoption. In addition, Social Workers, who complete home studies, look to make sure a couple has been able to move past infertility to adoption.
If you are in a position where you would like to move past infertility to adoption but not sure if you are ready there are some steps that can be taken to help you through this process. Seek individual counseling or even group counseling with others who have had infertility issues. Talk to other people who have adopted and learn from them what their experience was with their adoption journey and spend time with their children. Last, take the time to grieve your loss of not being able to have children biologically. Once a couple has taken these steps they can embrace and feel the excitement of the adoption journey.