My Own Schedule

There is a terrifying thing happening recently concerning my schedule: I’m in charge of it. While this has to some extent been a dream for a long time it comes with its own magnificent set of problems. The biggest problem is keeping whatever schedule I set for myself. In some ways this has always been a problem (even before I was taking care of my son during the day) but in other ways having a great deal of time on my hands with so many things to do I get a little bit lost in the middle of it all.

I’ve been trying to get up earlier (5 a.m.) but going to bed late makes that task difficult. Most of my work centers around reading, writing, and planning. All of these activities take different environments and times to work out best. It’s hard for me to read late at night because the words begin to blur. It’s also hard for me to plan in the early morning because I’m not quite thinking straight. In some ways my skewed thought makes the morning best for writing, but only of the creative sort. Work towards more academic material requires a clearer head. I know all that… so what’s the problem?

The problem is that I don’t always stick to the schedule I set for myself. Sure, there are real distrations (in the form of not-set-in-stone naptimes) but there are also invented ones. E-mails, hunger, that other book for that other thing I need to do. In this regard I envy students. They are scheduled to be in a certain place at a certain time and work on a certain thing. This compartmentalization really seemed to help me through the years and I very much miss it now. My schedule is filled with largely self-guided dissertation hours. Setting my own schedule is great — but keeping it is very difficult.