Our family decided to hire a college exchange student from Korea through an au pair agency. I had initially been hesitant, longing for more cultural exchange with Koreans but fearing that I would be judged on my parenting skills, or that someone from another culture might be prejudiced against adoption in some way. Meg herself told us she didn’t want us to get a Korean au pair. (We’ve had two previous au pairs from Brazil, whom Meg loved.) But we thought that having a role model of a young Korean woman would be good for Meg’s self-esteem, so we took a leap of faith.
It was well worth it. The kids (my son as well as our Korea-born daughters) adored her immediately. Her mother sent Korean hanboks (traditional special occasion clothes) for all three kids. I was impressed that she included my non-Korean son. Jeong-Ah is an attractive young woman, an athletic older sister to play Frisbee and shoot baskets with, someone to go to the park and the mall with. She also has a seemingly endless supply of nail polish and hair doodads.
Immediately after her arrival, Meg decided to do Korea for her report. Jeong-Ah was game to help on such short notice (Meg’s report was due five days after her arrival, and I was to speak to the class about Korea the following week. I had told Meg I planned to do this in any case, no matter what she decided to do in the report, but having Jeong-Ah around got her excited about it.) Going to the Korean supermarket reminded her of some honeycakes and other Korean treats that she was eager to share with her classmates.
Meg also decided that I must bring her little sister to visit her class wearing her hanbok. (Meg still didn’t want to wear hanbok herself, but was content to have me bring it on a hanger and display it.)
Meg had gone through a phase of drawing herself with blonde hair. Now she is complaining about her hair for a different reason—she wishes it were blacker. (Meg’s hair is brown—one of my adult Korean-adoptee friends says her hair was chocolate brown until she was an adult, then black—and has a little wave to it.) Jeong-Ah told her that in Korea everyone had black hair and everyone wished they had hair different from everyone else. Of course the ultimate goal is for Meg to embrace her unique looks, but I figure wanting to look more Korean is probably better than wanting to look blonde.
So the moral of the story is, never underestimate the power of an attractive young woman who knows how to do hair.
Please see these related blogs:
Developing Relationships with Cultural Communities
Why is Hair an Adoption Issue?