Diminishing sexual appetites and a distinct lack of interest in sex can put a strain on even the happiest of marriages. There is an old saying that when a couple has sex, it’s only about 10% of their marriage, when they have no sex, it becomes 90% of their marriage. But for some women the underlying cause of their lack of interest is directly related to their own personal weight.
Please, Hear Me Out
Ladies, we all look in the mirror and if we don’t see that super-model body or at least the lean, gentle figure that we all possessed when we were younger. You may have gained weight due to pregnancy one or several or any number of other reasons from a change in diet to a change in physical activity to just a change in your metabolism.
In the most perfect of worlds, gaining weight can have a profound effect on your sex life. The weight gain can be as little as 10 pounds and as great as 50 or 60 pounds. However, it’s not usually the husbands who are upset about the wife’s weight gain, though truth be spoken there are some husbands who will not care for a severe weight gain of 75 or more pounds, but more often than not – it’s the wife who suspends her own interest in sex and sexual activities because she doesn’t find herself attractive and is perplexed by the idea that anyone else would.
According to research studies into marriage issues and marriage problems, most husbands cite their wives preoccupation with their own weight that creates the problems with their sex lives and not the husband’s concern. Many husbands feel empathy for their wives plight and want to be supportive, but they aren’t repulsed by the weight – whereas the wife is more repulsed by herself and she can’t imagine her husband being that interested in her – thus she loses interest in sexual relations to avoid the possibility of rejection and more.
Our Culture Celebrates the Slender Body
When a woman is slim or slender, matching what society perceives as the attractive woman, she is more likely to enjoy an active sexual life with her spouse. This correlates pretty simply – when our bodies physically match what we think they should look like, we like ourselves better. When we like ourselves more – we are more likely to have interest in sexual activities and passion.
You may not even realize it, according to the research, less than 12% of women associate their weight as having an impact on their sex life. Their husbands notice though and it’s not that they are rejecting their wife or their wife’s weight, but are instead rejected because their wife doesn’t think it’s possible for them to be interested in a woman who is heavy — especially when the wife doesn’t feel worthy of that interest because she is turned off by herself.
So if you struggle with feeling interested in sex – is your problem with yourself and your weight? It may help to identify that – and the solution is not necessarily to lose those extra pounds ladies – it’s to remember that your weight doesn’t define you and that you need to like and love yourself in order to understand that others can and do like as well as love you.
Have you ever felt too heavy to be attractive no matter what your spouse said?
Related Articles:
Marriage Tips: Couples Don’t Have to Discuss Everything
Relationship Dynamics: Enhancing Your Listening Skills
Old Wounds Can Damage Your Relationship