The age old debate of nurture vs. nature was about to play an important part in my life. In fact, it became such a big part of defining who I was, that I spent countless hours researching it.
Really, I didn’t have to research far. I was living it. I was the product of both a nurturing mother, and a mother by nature. So which one is the scientific way?
I really believe it depends on the person, but for me – it was most definitely nature.
Without going into great detail, it might be harder for me to convey to you the differences and how they pertain to me. However, I don’t feel it necessary to focus on specifics as much as an overall picture.
Of course biology plays a part in who I look like or don’t look like, and obviously I looked nothing like my adoptive family. Blond hair, blue eyes, fair skin.
They had brown eyes, brown hair, olive skin.
And of course, occasionally when speaking to my children, I cringe when I realize I sound like my mom. My adoptive mom.
But it goes beyond genetics and into the real heart of things.
My entire life I had been a writer. As my adoptive mother used to tell me countless times growing up – “You have a gift, use it.”. Poetry, Essays, Diary and Journal Entries were all a huge part of my everyday life.
My biological mother is exactly the same way.
I’ve always enjoyed crafts. I’m extremely creative and am constantly trying out new crafts or making something.
My biological mother is exactly the same way.
Since I was six years old, I’ve had a collection of teddy bears and teddy bear memorabilia. And not any ordinary collection, an extensive collection that by the time I was 21 had grown to hundreds of plush and resin bears, and dozens upon dozens of items with bears on them.
My biological mother is exactly the same way.
All my life I have been ultra sensitive. Able to cry easily, even when just being empathetic with another person. I cry at children singing, I cry at intense moments, I’m sincerely the most emotional person I’ve ever known.
My biological mother is exactly the same way.
My entire life I have enabled others to walk all over me. I care deeply about people and truly spent more time conforming to what they want than being who I really was (much of that has changed in the past few years).
My biological mother is exactly the same.
I have always been fascinated by nature, the outdoors, anything God made. I’d rather be outside than inside any day of the year. I love camping, hiking, outdoor photography, and anything pertaining to spending time in God’s world.
My biological mother is exactly the same way.
And beyond that handful of things we share, our beliefs in God, the way we pray, the way we handle stressful situations, the way we think, the way we process….
We’re exactly alike.
Ok, well saying “exactly” is stretching it a little. However, the similarities we discovered over the course of the years that followed, were impressive.
In fact, there was so much that we had in common, that instead of being mother and daughter, anyone would just assume that we were sisters.
So which is it? Nature or Nurture?
Nurture shapes our personality and takes us beyond. Nature is simply implanted and is the biggest part of who we are.
More of the Story Soon! Just watch my blog!