Open, Semi-Open or Closed Adoption part 2

If you are considering placing your unborn child up for adoption or you’re considering adoption I hope that you read my last entry. If you did you will realize that both the adoptive and birth families have decisions to consider. The decision to participate in an open, semi-open or a closed adoption are decisions that both parties need to decide on.

The first part of thinking about the decision is to consider how comfortable you are with sharing your child’s life with another person who is responsible for your child. I can see it from a few different positions. As a mom I could not imagine not being involved in our kids’ lives in some form or fashion. Granted I personally do not think I could give up a child now but if I was younger and not married I may have considered it. Luckily for me I was never in that position as I cannot even begin to imagine how hard it would be. You would want to make the choice that is right for your child but the idea of carrying them for nine months not to know where they are or how they are doing is too hard to think about.

AS you know we made the decision to participate in mediation for our youngest child. Her biological mother wanted to keep custody of her and given the fact that we knew what her biological brothers; our sons; had been through we were prepared to fight for her. When we went into mediation the case workers had talked to us about the fact that we should consider what we were and were not willing to do.

We had to face the decision that many of you considering adoption are facing. Would we be willing to participate in a fully open, semi-open or strictly closed adoption. The fully open adoption was never really an option for us. We had all three of the biological mother’s children and we had finalized the two older ones. We did not want one of our children to have a relationship with their biological mother and not the other two and we were not willing to put our sons in the mix. Our oldest son had finally stopped having nightmares and I was not willing to put him at risk emotionally.

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About Tammy Woolard

My name is Tammy and I am 40 year old mother of 3 wonderful children who came to us through domestic adoption. Although we did not have any fertility issues we chose adoption because there are so many kids that did not ask to be born but truly want a family to love. We did research on adoption choices and decided on domestic adoption through CPS. You would be surprised the differences between each agency. The adoption process is nothing like you see in the movies. I am also a 5 year breast cancer survivor. When I was diagnosed my kids were 3, 5 and 7 I did so much research I may have driven my Dr. a little crazy but that is ok it is my body not his.