Parenting Your Middle Child – What to Expect and Do

Middle children exhibit the widest amount of traits. It is pretty much a given that they will be different than their older sibling. But their differences can manifest in a variety of ways. But many middle children do exhibit the following traits.

Middle-born Traits

  • Flexible
  • Easy Going
  • Peacemaker – can see all sides of a situation
  • Social – may not feel like they have a special place in the family so friends become more important
  • Generous – they are used to sharing
  • Secretive – don’t openly share their feelings
  • Adaptable
  • Avoids conflict – tries to keep life smooth
  • May feel life is unfair
  • Become a problem child if discouraged
  • Independent
  • Inventive – more likely to be an entrepreneur than a CEO
  • May become codependent as they try to please everybody
  • May feel unloved
  • Strong negotiator

Parenting the Middle-born Child

Psychologist Kevin Leman in his book “The Birth Order Book: Why You Are the Way You Are” gives parents some tips on raising their middle child.

Listen to them.

Middle children often feel that no one listens to them and they have a harder time sharing their feelings. “Although it’s important to set aside time to talk to all of your children, it’s particularly important to make this happen with the middle child because he is least likely to insist on his fair share of time.”

Cultivate their talents.

Find out what is special or unique about your child and help them develop their talents. Don’t compare your middle child to your oldest.

Allow them to make decisions.

“Empower your middle child and make him feel special by allowing him to make choices such as who gets to bowl first or what the family will eat for dessert. This will help alleviate feelings of always being overshadowed by older and younger siblings.”

Update the Family Album

“This may sound silly but it truly is important. There tend to be a billion photos of the firstborn and about six of the next child. To a child flipping through the family album, this is a sure sign that he’s not loved as much. Be sure to have photos of the middle child alone, not always paired with the older sibling.”

Fun Middle-born Facts

  • Middle Children are generally successful in team sports like Magic Johnson.
  • They are excellent managers due to strong negotiating skills.
  • They are often entrepreneurs.
  • Some famous middle-children include: Jay Leno, Donald Trump, Barbara Walters, and Susan B. Anthony.

Other Blogs on Birth Order
“Does Birth Order Affect Personality?”
“Parenting Your Oldest Child – What to Expect and Do”.
“Parenting Your Youngest Child – What to Expect and Do.”
“Parenting Your Only Child – What to Expect and Do.”

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About Teresa McEntire

Teresa McEntire grew up in Utah the oldest of four children. She currently lives in Kuna, Idaho, near Boise. She and her husband Gene have been married for almost ten years. She has three children Tyler, age six, Alysta, four, and Kelsey, two. She is a stay-at-home mom who loves to scrapbook, read, and of course write. Spending time with her family, including extended family, is a priority. She is a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and currently works with the young women. Teresa has a degree in Elementary Education from Utah State University and taught 6th grade before her son was born. She also ran an own in-home daycare for three years. She currently writes educational materials as well as blogs for Although her formal education consisted of a variety of child development classes she has found that nothing teaches you better than the real thing. She is constantly learning as her children grow and enjoys sharing that knowledge with her readers.