The look on their faces made it very clear to me everyone who heard my announcement thought I had completely lost my mind! The silence in the room was deafening until one of my aunts actually said what everyone in the room was thinking, “Why on earth would you want to start parenting all over when Sean and Tori are nearly grown?”
With that question my family started to chatter and offer one opinion after another. Someone suggested that adopting children “now” would mean I might not get to travel the world in my golden days. I simple said, “It is a good thing that I don’t really have any interest in traveling the world, but if I should happen to take a vacation it would probably be more fun with children than without.”
My grumpy uncle was the only one willing to actually come out and ask me if I had lost my mind or was I playing some sort of gag on the family just to see the look of complete shock on the faces of the people who love me?
Mom couldn’t say much at all she was too stunned and started adding the grandchildren on her fingers, that would make 13 grandchildren ranging from ages newborn to 18! The only words she could get to come out of her mouth were, “Are you sure you can handle it? I worry about my baby.”
I was 38 years old when I informed my family that we had decided to adopt. My children were about to graduate from high school which meant I would have the world at my feet. I can respect that everyone else would not do this or even want to, but as my mother always told me, I am not “everyone else”.
I did have to correct my mothers addition about the grandchildren because I dropped another bomb when I told everyone we are not adopting one newborn baby we are adopting at least two siblings from the state waiting children’s list.
Near riot broke out in the house!
There was opinion and debate going on in every corner of the room. Some thought it was fantastic and others still thought I was completely off my rocker. Most of my aunts all agreed that two children were not twice the work–more like five times after all one child cannot argue with itself. By the end of the afternoon each and every family member said they would respect me and support me no matter my choice.
The children moved in with us ten days before I turned 40 years old and that makes me 39 years older then my youngest child. It is funny because when I had Sean I was only 20 and basically I have made my whole life about being a mother. People might think I am nuts but I can’t think of much else I would like to do everyday then be a mom who kisses boo-boos and teaches them how to add, subtract and spell “Love”.
I won’t lie here and tell you the past three years have been easy or that I have not had those moments I asked myself, “What were you thinking?” but, I will say it is all worth it. Yes, I do worry about my little ones growing up healthy. I spend a lot of time praying they have no long term affects of prenatal drug exposure, or that Makala will overcome the hurt she received those four years no one knew she existed. And there are a few times when I feel a little guilty knowing my little ones may not have me long enough to see my grandchildren. But, at least they have the older siblings as family and that makes me feel a little better.
Being a mom is the best job I have ever had and the only one that has paid me as well as I think I deserve.
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For more information about parenting special needs children you might want to visit the Families.com Special Needs Blog and the Mental Health Blog. Or visit my personal website.