I often wrestle with the whole philosophy that the family and children should come first. While I definitely keep my children and family life at the center of my life, I have learned over the years as a single parent, that if I don’t take care of myself too–I cannot take good care of my family and meet all my obligations.
I am not always sure HOW to take care of myself and meet all my responsibilities. I know full well that even if I schedule an evening out with a friend, something could happen with one of my kids and the evening gets cancelled. I also know that while I need to work to support my family and I love the independence and personal fulfillment that it brings, I also have to balance my work life with all of the other things in my world. This means often NOT making the money I could or taking the work I could in order to be available to my children.
I suppose it all comes down to balance–while my children are the world to me, I also have to be a person first and foremost. No one else is going to tend to my needs or make sure I eat right, stay healthy, feel emotionally stable, etc. My children are not going to that and there is not a line of suitors and such waiting to take care of me! Again, though, a single parent has to find a way to balance self-care and “taking care of business” in the realm of family life.
Children DO grow up and we don’t want to look around when the kids are gone and realize that we have no friends and we are not well-rounded, healthy people. We have to periodically remind ourselves that we are people first, and a parent second–it may be the most important thing we need to do right now, but it is not the only thing we need to do.
Also: We Are Entitled to Do Some Things Alone
Cherish Yourself First (Don’t Lose Yourself in Your Kids)