Planning to be Married with Children?

First comes love
Then comes marriage
Then comes a baby in a baby carriage.

– Child’s Limerick

There are lots of trials in the early days of marriage, but when couples have worked out the wrinkles, they experience a time period of almost carefree whim. You might both be working so the financial burden is pretty low. You can eat out every night, go to the movies, pick up and go on a quick weekend trip with few responsibilities and obligations to hold you back. It’s a great time for you to go back to school or even change careers.

The options seem limitless, right up until two pink lines show up on the home pregnancy kit. When you have a child, everything changes. It’s no longer just the two of you, footloose and fancy-free. Suddenly, you need to check on the budget and maybe change how you manage them. You are looking at increased expenses, physical and emotional changes and only a few short months to go from being two to three.


Most people have children before they realize the effect that it will have on their lives. Some do not. Some honestly contemplate whether they are ready to have children, how much will it change their lives and will the changes be worth it? Will it be better? Will it be worse? Unfortunately, still others believe that a child can repair a troubled relationship and that it will draw the potential parents to be closer.

It takes time for you and your partner to learn to work together as a team and to build a solid foundation. That teamwork and foundation will support the couple through the trials of adjusting to the enormous changes a child brings into a relationship. On average, experts feel that couples married 2 to 3 years before seriously considering having a child.

Having children too soon can cause friction and difficulty. Now, do not take this to mean that parents who have children before that time are worse than those who wait. It just means that if you are asking the question, that you are considering whether you want to try and conceive or you want to wait. Choosing when to have a child is an option available to married couples through birth control.

Children are a wonderful part of life. They can enrich and deepen a relationship as the married couple bonds in the new state of parenthood. But they should be the result of a loving relationship where the bond existed before the parental one in order to support both the individuals and the marriage.

This entry was posted in Married Without Children and tagged , , , , by Heather Long. Bookmark the permalink.

About Heather Long

Heather Long is 35 years old and currently lives in Wylie, Texas. She has been a freelance writer for six years. Her husband and she met while working together at America Online over ten years ago. They have a beautiful daughter who just turned five years old. She is learning to read and preparing for kindergarten in the fall. An author of more than 300 articles and 500+ web copy pieces, Heather has also written three books as a ghostwriter. Empty Canoe Publishing accepted a novel of her own. A former horse breeder, Heather used to get most of her exercise outside. In late 2004, early 2005 Heather started studying fitness full time in order to get herself back into shape. Heather worked with a personal trainer for six months and works out regularly. She enjoys shaking up her routine and checking out new exercises. Her current favorites are the treadmill (she walks up to 90 minutes daily) and doing yoga for stretching. She also performs strength training two to three times a week. Her goals include performing in a marathon such as the Walk for Breast Cancer Awareness or Team in Training for Lymphoma research. She enjoys sharing her knowledge and experience through the fitness and marriage blogs.