As individuals, some of us parents can tolerate certain behaviors while others make us crazy. I always find it interesting talking with parents and finding out what are their triggers and what things they can handle just fine. I have a fairly high tolerance for whining, for example, while other parents absolutely hate it. One other area where I can manage a fair amount of tolerance is for moping and pouting—but I know some parents who find that a child’s pouting and moping about is a huge trigger…
Pouting…that drooping body language, brooding face, and general slouching about that a person does when he or she wants to share depression, disappointment or frustration. Some children are absolute masters at it and they can garner all sorts of sympathy and attention by getting a good pout on. Why is it that some of us parents can ignore it and others of us can’t? I think it can be hard to see an unhappy child without trying to do something to cheer them up. Of course, those of us who have been through the teenage years know that brooding and pouting can become commonplace and there is really nothing we can do (short of buying them every possible toy and gadget and that only provides temporary relief) to put a smile on their face.
If pouting is a big trigger issue for you, you can try setting some parameters around it: you can say that the living room or kitchen is a pout-free zone, for example. Or you can ask that if a child is going to mope and pout, they take it elsewhere. Perhaps if they are out of sight, it won’t be such a trigger for you. I do think that we need to identify what is really going on for the child first, to determine if the circumstance warrants more of our attention or if there is anything we really can do to help. Keep in mind that pouting is really just another form of communication—it is a form of body language and the child is trying to let us know what is going on. We can encourage them to talk through their feelings and develop more “acceptable” modes of communication too and this can help to cut down on the pouting.