In the world I grew up in–and it wasn’t so very long ago, I’m only forty, after all– we had one television and two phone extensions (one in the kitchen and one in my parents room). These phones were connected to the wall completely (no portable or cordless). We didn’t have a computer and we had one household typewriter for doing those school papers. AND, we had one bathroom for three kids (horrors!) Somehow, we managed to grow up just fine without feeling deprived, and we learned how to share.
In my little meager household now, we have 3 televisions, 2 computers and 3 cordless phones. There are two bathrooms upstairs and one downstairs. We are definitely not rich and are a rather frugal, single parent household. I often hear from my kids how “poor” we are and how much more stuff is available at dad’s house. It absolutely blows my mind. Having to wait their turn to use the phone or having to schedule time to work on a school paper–taking into account other residents of the house feels like abuse to them. Everything is immediate gratification and having a television or computer is considered on the same caliber of owning your own pair of shoes. I have not figured out how I can convey to them how rich and lucky they are. Of course, they just tune me out since this is the world they live in and they really do feel like they have “less” than other kids or what television and the media tell them they should have. I feel like we not only have way more “stuff” than we need, but that my kids have really missed out on learning how to wait, take turns, and share.
Do you think learning to share is a lesson of the past? I watch kids and teens on the bus and they get all agitated and put out if they have to share a seat or wait for an older person to get slowly on the bus. We live in a world of individual service, “personal” everything, and immediate gratification. Are our children missing out on some basic human values–learning to share resources and take turns with what is available AND making sure that everyone has enough?
See Also: What Can Be Done to Encourage Tolerance?
Are Parents’ Important Life Lessons Sinking In?
Teaching Kids the Responsibilities That Come With Freedom