After enduring months of separation due to job circumstances, late last November my commuter marriage came to an end. Wayne got back his old job, quit the new one, and came home.
It’s been an adjustment ever since.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m thrilled he’s home. I’m thrilled I don’t have the hassle of dealing with showings and fretting about doing certain things by myself anymore. (Like hurrying to tidy up any messes when a showing appointment was made.) Basically, I’m just thrilled he’s around to help with certain chores (like walking Murph in the mornings) and we’re back together more than just on weekends.
But…
In the four months we were apart we developed our own ways of doing things. We got used to doing what we wanted when we wanted.
I got used to not having to do all those things I do for Wayne. Like cooking dinners every night, keeping the fridge and pantry stocked with his favorite snacks, making extra trips to the store to get those snacks, dry cleaning runs, more laundry…the list goes on.
Until he came home permanently again, I never realized what an easy street I’d been living on with him away. My duties were actually pretty light. (The showings were just inconvenient.)
But then he was back and suddenly I had work to do –and a lot of it!
Because he financially supports me, which allows me to pursue my writing endeavors, long ago we agreed I’d take on the more traditional wifely duties. The cooking, the cleaning, etc.
I got spoiled having him gone most days of the month.
He got spoiled having the freedom to come and go as he pleased. Don’t get me wrong, he has that anyway (we both do), but he didn’t have to check in with me and tell me when he’d be back or where he was going. He just made plans and did them. He didn’t have to take into consideration whether I had anything scheduled for us or not.
So we’ve had to relearn how to be a couple again.
Which is fine. Better that then still doing the commuting thing. No thank you! I just wasn’t expecting being back together to be such an adjustment.