I have written a number of blogs which describe the traits that potential adoptive parents of special needs children might want to have. It is time to write about an attitude that will make it harder to adopt. If you think that you will be able to “change the world”, you can expect to have your sails trimmed.
I am more than familiar with this attitude. My wife and I launched into many a project knowing that we would be able to conquer any problem that appeared. Fortunately, we had already discovered by the time that we were ready to adopt that prayer, hard work, and dedication do not solve every problem.
In a previous blog, I referred to a homeless man named Harry that we met on the street in downtown Houston. Harry had encountered a series of people who were concerned with his welfare and he wound up in an alcohol rehab program. He was sober for the first time in many years. We started picking up Harry every Sunday morning for church. He was doing really well.
Several months later, he had reunited with family members that had given up on him. His eyes were clear and he was regaining his health. He had graduated into the rehab’s work / residence program where he worked all day and stayed at the facility at night. Harry was so proud of himself. When Harry received his first paycheck, the demons returned and he was not heard from again. I doubt that he lived for very long back out on the street.
By the time that we were ready to bring a child into our home, we had experienced many similar disappointments. We did have reason for optimism though. We had been very successful with our birth children. The lady who did our home study had remarked that she needed for us to give her advice about raising children.
After we had four young damaged boys living under our roof, it did not take long at all to realize that we had our work cut out for us. We quickly learned that we would depend on the help and advice of others. It is hard work.
When I encounter a couple that is preparing to adopt, I tell them a story like this. I leave them alone if they are not receptive, knowing that they will be back for assistance sooner than later.
Related Blogs:
Should You Use an Adoption Agency?
A Small Group Makes a Big Impact